They do not report the abuse because they start to believe they are not capable of surviving without their abuser.
"A lot of women who were victims of domestic violence will say ‘Hey, it's only a husband and wife dispute that got a little out of hand,’” said Brooklyn District Attorney Charles J. Hynes. "When they say these statements to you, they are denying that they are being abused.”
One reason they continue to stay with their partner, is that they are convinced he is more powerful than they are. Often they fear they couldn’t financially be on their own, especially if they have children.
There are four stages once a woman is exposed to the battered women syndrome -- denial, guilt, enlightenment, and responsibility. In stage 1, she denies her partner's abusive behavior and will make excuses for him because he tells her that it will never happen again.
When it inevitably does happen again, she blames blame herself.
"Battered women will question their own characters and try harder to live up their partner’s expectations and instructions," said domestic violence survivor Sarah. "We are trying our best to please our loved ones so they will not see a black eye or a busted lip."
The woman enters the enlightenment stage when she finally realizes that no woman deserves to be beaten. She now knows that it’s the man who has the problem, and she must walk away.
"When a women finds the strength to leave her partner and never looks back, she’s taking the necessary step begin a new life,” said Jenny, another survivor.
There are domestic-violence cases in which the woman is the abuser, Hynes said, but the number of these pales compared to the number of women who are victims.
"When I took office in 1990, I wanted to create a Domestic Violence Bureau so we can have great strides in raising the consciousness of the entire community, and especially the law enforcement community, in acknowledging and responding to domestic violence," said Hynes.
