Think again.
Yes, it might be a little more challenging than when you were a teenager or young adult (although it’s never easy at any age), but no one has ever placed any age limit on seeking companionship and romance.
Here are some tips from relationship experts:
Face it!
If you find yourself suddenly single as a senior, it may be hard to accept. After all, you’ve spent the last 30, 40, 50 or more years with someone, and the last time you even thought about going on a date was when Harry Truman was in the White House. But you have to avoid denial, and face up to the reality with self-confidence. You’re not alone – millions of people past age 50 find themselves single again.
Don’t settle
Many seniors may think they can’t be too choosy at their age and will fly into the arms of anyone who pays them a little more than scant attention.
Don’t sell yourself short. “If somebody isn’t right for you, don’t hesitate to move on and look for a more suitable companion,” says Kristina de la Cal, dating editor at BellaOnline. “At this stage of your life, there is no sense in wasting any of your own or your date’s precious time by settling for a partner who doesn’t meet your expectations. As long as you have given serious consideration to what you want and developed a reasonable and realistic set of expectations, there is no logical reason why you should accept anything less.”
Of course, this shouldn’t mean that you become so choosy that no one is good enough for you. There’s a happy medium.
Explore
You may think that online dating is just the province of the young, but it’s certainly not. A quick search under “senior dating” yields an array of senior dating sites. But, as in any Internet search, you have to be careful. Many sites are legitimate, many are not. And personal ads from seniors are neither more nor less likely to be exaggerations or outright falsehoods than are any other personals in print or online. And, if you arrange to meet in person anyone you’ve contacted through a personal ad, make sure it’s in a public place during the day.
Of course, there are many other, probably better ways for senior singles to meet. The many senior centers in the Bay area offer a comfortable way to meet people, and most places of worship offer programs and activities for seniors.
The first date
As is dating at any age, the first date can be the hardest to get through. Here are some tips from About.com for easing the experience:
Get Up and Dance. Whether you’re the belle of the ball or have two left feet, dancing is a great way to get close, have fun, and check for chemistry. Many ballrooms and other dance facilities sponsor group lessons before the real dancing begins to help people who are rusty get back in the swing of things or learn a few new steps.
Spread a Blanket. Nothing is more romantic than a picnic in a beautiful spot. Make it even more special by shopping together to choose the food and wine that will fill your basket. It’s a great opportunity to share some of your favorite things with someone you’re just getting to know.
Get Moving. Maybe you both enjoy tennis or golf, or just like going for long walks. Sharing a physical activity on a first date can help create a bond that may bring you closer together while you stay in shape.
Is This Art? Create an artful senior dating experience by attending a gallery walk or touring a museum. Everyone has an opinion about art, so the conversation is sure to be lively.
Cast Off. Rent kayaks, a row boat, or a canoe and set sail on a mini-cruise around a local lake or lagoon. Being on the water will shift your perspective and make it easier for you and your date to navigate any awkward moments.
To Market, To Market. Check out a farmers’ market or flea market in your area. Browsing among the stalls and having so many different things to see and discuss will help keep the conversation flowing.
Fruit of the Vine. Whether you’re a wine connoisseur or have trouble telling Cabernet from Merlot, visiting a local winery or attending a wine tasting together (several wine stores in the Bay area offer this) is a great way to get to know each other while learning something new and sampling one of life’s true pleasures.
Literary Interlude. If you both enjoy books, this is a natural senior dating idea. Attend a reading at a local bookstore or library, and then browse the shelves comparing notes about your favorite authors and titles. Follow that up with coffee and dessert, and you’ve got a first date that could be the start of a new life chapter.
